Posts
Twisted Steel
I am a twisted, mangled
I-beam; I’ve been through an earthquake and a volcanic eruption. Here I lay all twisted and broken and
still I am needed to hold up the structure. How can I?
Where is the strength that held my head up high? Where is the boldness that let me lead
others out of the storm? Where is
the soft gentleness that allowed me to comfort? How do I untwist and make all the pockmarks go away? Why do I want to, being so broken and
destroyed? The raw, jagged edges
abrade my heart and numb my mind.
I am no longer what I was.
Through the pain, through
the darkness, with my soul split in so many pieces -something calls, something
calls. I don’t want to hear, go
away, let me go down the jumbled path to my own end - someone calls, someone
calls. Who would call me back from
the edge, who would want a person so wretched?
I look down and the ragged,
jagged edges of the I-beam are softened by the moss where did that come from? As I watch I see a little green fern
unfurling and I hear soft voices calling my name. I don’t want to come back, I don’t want to face the pain one
more time, just let me rust away here in my safe corner.
How do I get out of this
downward spiral? No one really
understands the loss of a child, my anguish is mine, but the green keeps
expanding and the voices get louder, more insistent. I have to make another choice. It is the power of life calling me up from the dregs, my
family my friends all my clients that have hung in also through their own days of
flat on the ground.
I can never repay all the
richness of the gifts given me; all I can do is turn around and pass them
on. I am reaching out to you
today. Let’s build a safe place to
grieve where we can heal and pass on the gifts to all those other lost, twisted,
mangled souls.
