Sunday, April 10, 2016

The End Of Grieving

This is April and on the 13th it will be 37 years since I found her and on the 17th it will also be 37 years since I buried her.  I finally agree that I should “be over it”.
That of course means shutting myself down, putting all the reminders away and keeping everyone at a safe distance so as not to get triggered into my grief.

All that is easy because not having my grief turns very quickly to hostility and being angry all the time that will keep folk away from me.

I also could become cynical and bitter that no one ever understands me
or is there for me.

Or perhaps I will start medicating myself, either with prescription drugs or otherwise.  Good way to fight depression that always goes with unexpressed grief.

I guess I could join a cult or other activities that keep me busy and not feeling.

Probably the easiest way is to just claim that since it’s been so long, it doesn’t bother me anymore.

The end of grieving doesn’t” mean the end of hurting

If today
Were yesterday
I would
Know what
To do

I would
Keep you
Safe from
And pain

I would
Never feel the
Loss of you

If today
Were only