Monday, October 19, 2015
The saddest most alone feeling in the world
Is to be with people I love and that love me
And to feel that forever distance and difference
The longing to go back and be able to belong
Is a physical need that can never be satisfied
Such a mystery of how to be and yet, never be the same
I remember when I didn’t understand others grief
And thought they should just “get over it”
Then Sharon died and I was alone in a different universe
I still am.
Alone is different from loneliness, I am not lonely,
Alone is a place where no one can go with me to comfort or help
Because no one else can see the rips and tears in my soul
No one else can see the hole in my gut
No one else can feel the wrenching, devastating pain of the death of a child
I never know when or why this place will descend on me and consume all joy,
peace or fulfillment. If I don’t fight the need I get through and come out the other side a little wiser and life goes on.
my pain & grief.