I Can't Find The Magic

Another day has come and gone, like thousand of other days and I can’t find the magic to be OK again.  Not for myself, not for my clients and not for all the grieving people I try to comfort, I feel at the end of a long road at the edge of a cliff that I can’t negotiate anymore.  I can’t find the magic

Life feels

futile

&

sometimes absurd.

Why then

do I

go on?

Because, I

love

this world

&

have

to know

what

tomorrow holds.

The Trouble With Grieving

Well, number one on the list is that it really sucks,

Number two on the list is how much I am sick and tired of being controlled by one feeling.

Number three on the list is how much of an outsider it makes me.

Number four on the list is how much grieving has changed me

Number five on my list is the isolation due to every griever being engulfed by their own sorrow.

Number six on the list is the enormous effort it takes to build bridges across those chasms and up those cliffs.

  Sometimes I

am tired

of grieving

&

protest so much

pain

I cannot seem

to

ever get

finally through

Roz said,

“Don’t try”

“The pain of her

death

is part

of

keeping her

alive

in

you”