What We Get

Our success in life, both personally and professionally is more directly connected to what we believe we deserve then any other factor.  Doesn’t matter how smart or talented or savvy we are, wheat any individual believes he/she deserves will determine their level of success.  That is what moving on is about, changing that belief about what you believe you deserve.  

Most of us live between two perimeters; there is a ceiling and a basement.  If you go above the ceiling you will do what it takes to get back in the safe zone, conversely, if you go below the basement you will find a way back to the acceptable perimeters. 

This is called our comfort zone, or as we talk about, our familiar.  The familiar is an emotional state that has developed over the course of our lifetime that we return to like a magnet.  In fact, returning to the familiar is one of the strongest forces in our lives.  This is why we get stuck and can’t seem to go beyond a certain point when trying to expand our lives.

So, how does one go about creating a new familiar and raising one’s belief in what they deserve?   It’s about letting go those old beliefs and expectations and building a vision of what you want your life to be.   It is a journey, not an event and requires a partner to pull and push each other as you heal from the past wounds.

The Seven Basic Feelings HOPE

The seven basic feelings are;

Mad

Sad

Glad

Hurt

Afraid

Shame

Hope

Whenever I state these, people always ask me, well, what about love?  I answer that love is the core of everything.  It is called many things, but feeling connected to others and ourselves is our basic humanness.  The other seven are ancillary and help us negotiate the basic problems of love. 

Love is the most basic need of all.  To feel welcomed, valued, honored and accepted (to name a few) is what every one of us hopes to achieve.

Each feeling has its accompanying need and consequence if not met.

So I am going to take each feeling and expand on it a bit in hopes that people can begin to articulate what they are feeling a little better.  That helps a lot in relationships

It always amuses me that if you ask a man what he feels, he will tell you what he thinks and obversely, if you ask a woman what she thinks, she will likely tell you what she feels.  The integrating of thinking and feelings creates the outcomes we all desire.  Putting who you are back on what you do.

The seventh and last feeling to cover here is HOPE.  Hope is like an internal sunrise, overcoming the shadows and darkness. Hope gets us through the roughest times.  Hope needs a vision.  If that need is met it becomes the central driver and keeps a person focused and oriented to achieve the vision.  If the dream is killed off the person tends to become unfocused, scattered and fragmented.  Dream killers are difficult to spot and uncover.

As a kid my hope was that I would survive and the vision was to build a more loving, happy and accepting life for myself.  As I grew up my vision of that life morphed and evolved, most of the time I wasn’t even consciously aware I was doing that, but my dream gently guided my choices. 

Hope kinda brings everything together for most humans and all the other feelings are in service of realizing our dreams.   Every time I strayed from my vision or got discouraged I felt a sorta tap on the shoulder pointing me back in the correct direction, and invariably when I was discourage someone would show up and reignite the hope.   

These days my hope is that I can continue to heal and the world with me.