How to Have A Life After A Death

Life returns

  Her death is

no

guarantee,

no insurance,

that I

will

not

lose again.

There is no

way

to

protect myself

from

further loss.

That is deeply

frightening.

What do

I

do with

that?

Well,

I guess

I

notice

how precious

today is

&

how deeply

I love you.

 How to have a life after a death

It ain’t easy.  Because your life is shattered and it’s hard to find any intact parts, like after a tornado has hit, let alone put it back together. 

First is pain management; how do you treat a wound that doesn’t show or bleed?  How do you explain a wound that is all consuming and never ending?  How do you ask for relief when people say, ”You should be over it by now.”   

Well, you scream, keen and wail regardless of what anyone says.

Some people use drugs or alcohol, which delays it for a while, but will not heal the wound.

Second is comfort; that is in short supply as few others can tolerate that level of raw emotions.  Everyone gets tired of the constant grieving; including the bereaved person, yet it still goes on.  Find someone that can hang in there with you and your shattered soul.

Third is that you need an advocate because you can’t defend yourself or focus on much when you are in such emotional shock.

Fourth, understand that you are not crazy or abnormal; you are simply in profound grief. When someone is so out of control it freaks others out.  We try to hide grief as a culture because it irrevocably changes those who do grieve.

If you can’t grieve, you can’t heal.

As the little flower proves, life does  return over and over, and so will you.