Friday, December 16, 2016

The Seven Basic Feelings

The seven basic feelings are;

Whenever I state these, people always ask me, well, what about love?  I answer that love is the core of everything.  It is called many things, but feeling connected to others and ourselves is our most basic humanness.  The other seven are ancillary and help us negotiate the basic issues surrounding love.  

Love,feeling connected,  is the most basic need of all.  To feel welcomed, valued, honored and accepted (to name a few) is what every one of us hopes to achieve.

Each feeling has its accompanying need and consequence if not met.

So I am going to take each feeling and expand on it a bit in hopes that people can begin to articulate what they are feeling a little better.  That helps a lot in relationships

It always amuses me that if you ask a man what he feels, he will tell you what he thinks and obversely, if you ask a woman what she feels, she will likely tell you what she thinks.  The integrating of thinking and feelings creates the outcomes we all desire.  Putting who you are back on what you do. 

Starting with MAD; Mad needs a target, if that need is not met it becomes rage, passivity/hostility.  If it is met anger becomes assertiveness, and the ability to act on one’s own behalf.

Anger is a natural emotional response to disappointment.  When anger is shut down through intimidation or intellectual co-opting, the unnatural and abnormal response of passivity and/or hostility are created and reinforced

                                       When a discrepancy exists between
                                      Between what I have and what I wan

                                       I should experience and express anger
                                 Not expressing anger, leads to;                                                     

                  Withdrawal/Passivity .............  ....................................Blame/Hostility                                                                                               
(I don’t care “                                                                                                 “You people screwed
“It doesn’t matter”                                                                                                  me again”

If I can express anger, that leads to;

Assertiveness, which leads to
(the ability to act on one’s own behalf)

Access/Examine/Strategize/Plan, which leads to
(the practical expression of self worth)

(the natural outcome of being able
to express your anger)

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