The seven basic feelings are;
Mad
Sad
Glad
Hurt
Afraid
Shame
Hope
Whenever I state these, people always ask me, well, what
about love? I answer that love is
the core of everything. It is
called many things, but feeling connected to others and ourselves is our most basic
humanness. The other seven are
ancillary and help us negotiate the basic issues surrounding love.
Love,feeling connected, is the most basic need of all. To feel welcomed, valued, honored and
accepted (to name a few) is what every one of us hopes to achieve.
Each feeling has its accompanying need and consequence if
not met.
So I am going to take each feeling and expand on it a bit in
hopes that people can begin to articulate what they are feeling a little
better. That helps a lot in relationships
It always amuses me that if you ask a man what he feels, he
will tell you what he thinks and obversely, if you ask a woman what she feels,
she will likely tell you what she thinks.
The integrating of thinking and feelings creates the outcomes we all
desire. Putting who you are back
on what you do.
Starting with MAD; Mad needs a target, if that need is not
met it becomes rage, passivity/hostility.
If it is met anger becomes assertiveness, and the ability to act on
one’s own behalf.
Anger is a natural emotional response to
disappointment. When anger is shut
down through intimidation or intellectual co-opting, the unnatural and abnormal
response of passivity and/or hostility are created and reinforced
Between what I have and what I wan
I should experience
and express anger
Not expressing anger, leads to;
Withdrawal/Passivity ............. ....................................Blame/Hostility
(I
don’t care “
“You
people screwed
“It
doesn’t matter”
me again”
If I can express anger, that leads to;
Assertiveness, which
leads to
(the ability to act on one’s own behalf)
Access/Examine/Strategize/Plan,
which leads to
(the practical expression of self worth)
Results
(the natural outcome of being able
to express your anger)
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