Thursday, February 1, 2018

Living In A Mayonnaise Jar

After 40 years of being an outsider, because being a bereaved parent makes me an outsider, I am going back to live in my old Mayonnaise jar.  I am really tired of living in a hostile environment.  I can’t remember when anyone asked me how I am doing or said her name or remembered her birthday, let alone any other important dates.

I really don’t blame anyone or expect them to understand because grief is a walk alone.   But for today I can curl up and feel safe, cry if I want to.  I can see everyone, hear everyone and even smell the roses, but on one can touch me in here or tell me I should be over it by now.  Which of your children would you give up? 

This dark, lonely place I am in today must be honored and fully embraced, then I can break the glass and rejoin the world.   If I don’t I will stay safe and apart from any more pain and any more joy.

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