After 40 years of being an outsider, because being a
bereaved parent makes me an outsider, I am going back to live in my old
Mayonnaise jar. I am really tired
of living in a hostile environment.
I can’t remember when anyone asked me how I am doing or said her name or
remembered her birthday, let alone any other important dates.
I really don’t blame anyone or expect them to understand
because grief is a walk alone. But for today I can curl up and feel safe, cry
if I want to. I can see everyone,
hear everyone and even smell the roses, but on one can touch me in here or tell
me I should be over it by now.
Which of your children would you give up?
This dark, lonely place I am in today must be honored and
fully embraced, then I can break the glass and rejoin the world. If I don’t I will stay safe and
apart from any more pain and any more joy.
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