Poem #2

Poem #2

Here I am again

This is April 13, 2015, thirty-seven years since I found my daughter's body.  People are really, really sure I should get over it by now.  Well I certainly have gotten on with my life.  I have had a very rich, deep and productive 36 years, but I am still not over “It”.

Yup, it is still a downer and I am sad on this day and April 17, the day I buried her.

I still wonder what she would be like had she lived, she would be 51 this year.  I wonder if I would have grandchildren or if she would have been a career woman.

The rest of my life will be devoted to creating Grief Centers for bereaved people so more can heal and have the rewarding life I have had.  I know that because I had a safe place to keen and wail is the core of my healing.

                                     Your death has

split me

wide open,

I am gutted

like a  steer

freshly slaughtered.

Your death

has spared me

nothing

in horror,

in terror.

in guilt.

What I didn’t expect,

had no way

of knowing,

was that the

depth I

plummeted to

would

also find

new depths of

living

&

loving

&

laughter